The Harley Consultancy

Category: work values

  • Do You Lose Your Personal Life When Things Get Busy?

    Do You Lose Your Personal Life When Things Get Busy?

    One of the first things we often jettison when things get busy is our personal, family and social life. Yet, paradoxically, these are the things that tend to refuel us. We do need to slow down into a different pace to enjoy these things, and we often have an instinctive reluctance to do this when we are trying hard to keep up at work. 

    As a burnout specialist, I make sure to practice what I preach. I take active steps to have a life. In the last few weeks I met with friends, saw a film, learned about my local area on a guided walk, went to a concert and saw an art show. I also had nights in to enjoy the luxury of doing absolutely nothing.

    No matter how little time you have spare, there is always some way to have a little bit of life in amongst your working week. The benefits are huge. Yet, if we are too stretched it is hard to free up enough brain space to organise this. That’s why it can be so helpful to get a new point of view. 

    In my 30 years of working with people I’ve never been defeated when looking for a space in a client’s week where a bit of life can creep in. With the right mindset on, it’s surprising how many opportunities are there when you know how to look for them. 

    https://bit.ly/hp-strategy-session

    #burnout #getalife #personaltime

  • High Performer But, Despite The Evidence, Do Not Feel High Performing On The Inside? 

    High Performer But, Despite The Evidence, Do Not Feel High Performing On The Inside? 

    Imposter syndrome. A state of permanently feeling that you are not as good as people think, that deep down you are faking it. That it is only a matter of time before your cover gets blown. I have worked with so many high flying clients – managing entire departments of hundreds of people, for example (and very competently too) – who still believe that they are just not up to it, they’re just winging it. And are constantly afraid they’ll get found out.

    It’s perhaps worth saying that some people will find mindset strategies all that they need to overcome these sort of doubts in those moments. A bit of a pep talk with yourself, pointing out the evidence that you are doing a good job, giving yourself encouragement when you’ve done something well. This sort of ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’ approach can pay dividends at times of uncertainty and challenge.

    But there is also a large group of people whose imposter syndrome is rooted in long-term emotional programming, hard-wired enough that it can overwhelm the coping brain when under pressure or external scrutiny. Cue brain fog, going blank, heightened anxiety, or even feeling too paralysed to act.

    For these people, a deeply felt sense of shame or of being irredeemably flawed often underpins their whole existence, meaning that they can be terrified of other people noticing that they are not ‘perfect’. Because when people see this, the fear is they will be able to see the deep down flaw in your being, and will reject you.

    In these cases, positive affirmations will only scratch the surface. I’d recommend finding a decent coach or therapist with a good understanding of the deeper roots of imposter syndrome. Because unless these roots are understood and addressed, nothing fundamental will change.

    I have worked with high performers over the last three decades who, despite the evidence, do not feel high performing on the inside. I might have an idea or two to help you. Let’s talk.  

  • When what drives you at work changes, do you grieve it?

    When what drives you at work changes, do you grieve it?

    ‘When what drives you at work changes, do you grieve it?‘ An interesting question that I was asked recently. My answer: I think it depends on how the ‘thing that drives you’ leaves your life.

    If it was forced upon you by circumstances, then yes, it will need to be grieved. I used to be immersed in the world of Argentine Tango. When I was advised to stop due to physical injuries, I definitely grieved the loss of something that was an integral and important part of my life yet I wasn’t ready to leave. 

    But sometimes our driving passion for something comes to a natural end. Perhaps we have delved into it deeply to the point that it no longer challenges us. Maybe it no longer meets with our ethical standpoints. Possibly we have proved ourselves through it, and it is no longer needed in that same way. 

    There will be a period in which we realise our driving force is spent, but has not been replaced. The task will be to recognise that we have moved on, and to look out for what really matters to us now. 

    When I was in industry, I thrived on the thrill of excelling in my role. But after a while this palled – I was helping the company make money, but to what end? Standard mid-life crisis stuff! But I took account of the new sense of discomfort and over the next couple of years searched for something that did matter to me. Stress and burnout had been a feature in my business life. So it felt entirely fitting that I trained as a psychotherapist. No need to grieve here.