Tag: burnout

  • Do You Lose Your Personal Life When Things Get Busy?

    Do You Lose Your Personal Life When Things Get Busy?

    One of the first things we often jettison when things get busy is our personal, family and social life. Yet, paradoxically, these are the things that tend to refuel us. We do need to slow down into a different pace to enjoy these things, and we often have an instinctive reluctance to do this when we are trying hard to keep up at work. 

    As a burnout specialist, I make sure to practice what I preach. I take active steps to have a life. In the last few weeks I met with friends, saw a film, learned about my local area on a guided walk, went to a concert and saw an art show. I also had nights in to enjoy the luxury of doing absolutely nothing.

    No matter how little time you have spare, there is always some way to have a little bit of life in amongst your working week. The benefits are huge. Yet, if we are too stretched it is hard to free up enough brain space to organise this. That’s why it can be so helpful to get a new point of view. 

    In my 30 years of working with people I’ve never been defeated when looking for a space in a client’s week where a bit of life can creep in. With the right mindset on, it’s surprising how many opportunities are there when you know how to look for them. 

    https://bit.ly/hp-strategy-session

    #burnout #getalife #personaltime

  • Working with the Alchemical Self

    Working with the Alchemical Self

    The human mind is alchemical in nature. I’ve long been fascinated by this. What might seem solid and knowable (“this happened”, “this is truth”, “I can’t change who I am”) is a far more magical thing when approached at the deepest levels of mind.

    Most coaches work primarily with mindset matters. It’s useful, certainly, but by no means the whole story. Perhaps you have wondered why mindset methods help, but only so far?

    Some coaches go deeper, working with the Inner Child, or experiences that have become entrenched in the emotional brain. That’s a powerful way of working, able to release more of our internal programming. But by no means all.

    Few coaches are able to engage in Depth Psychotherapy, however, working with the levels of mind that lie underneath this, where our deepest and most entrenched patterns are formed and held. This is the level at which substantial change can happen, and, often, surprisingly easily, as what might seem to be irretrievably locked in place can become fluid and able to reconfigure itself to better fit you now. But only if the coach knows how.

    I love working with clients at this extremely deep level. It’s like watching (and feeling) magic happen. It’s the reason why so many of my coaching clients are reporting lasting improvements they could never have predicted in just a few sessions.

    I was fortunate to conduct some original research into this for my MA in Counselling Studies at Nottingham University, almost 25 years ago. My thesis describes how different schools of psychotherapy approach this level of mind and pulls together the common principles of working successfully in this way. I have been drawing on these insights in my work with clients ever since.

    This depth method of working is simply not widely known, so I’ve decided it is time to publish my thesis to support the next generation of coaches and therapists.

    I am getting goose bumps, reading it again (and wondering just how I managed to write it!) whilst preparing for it to be available to a wider readership.

    My plan is to release it on Kindle and as a stand-alone PDF. Here’s a peak at the first step, designing a new cover to replace the original plain black. The photo, by my artist husband Geoff Francis, sums up for me what it feels like when a client enters with me into this level of working and realises the promise it holds.

    #feltsense #alchemical #depthpsychology #coaching

  • When what drives you at work changes, do you grieve it?

    When what drives you at work changes, do you grieve it?

    When what drives you at work changes, do you grieve it?‘ An interesting question that I was asked recently. My answer: I think it depends on how the ‘thing that drives you’ leaves your life.

    If it was forced upon you by circumstances, then yes, it will need to be grieved. I used to be immersed in the world of Argentine Tango. When I was advised to stop due to physical injuries, I definitely grieved the loss of something that was an integral and important part of my life yet I wasn’t ready to leave. 

    But sometimes our driving passion for something comes to a natural end. Perhaps we have delved into it deeply to the point that it no longer challenges us. Maybe it no longer meets with our ethical standpoints. Possibly we have proved ourselves through it, and it is no longer needed in that same way. 

    There will be a period in which we realise our driving force is spent, but has not been replaced. The task will be to recognise that we have moved on, and to look out for what really matters to us now. 

    When I was in industry, I thrived on the thrill of excelling in my role. But after a while this palled – I was helping the company make money, but to what end? Standard mid-life crisis stuff! But I took account of the new sense of discomfort and over the next couple of years searched for something that did matter to me. Stress and burnout had been a feature in my business life. So it felt entirely fitting that I trained as a psychotherapist. No need to grieve here.

  • The Little Known Reason Why Burnout is Different to Stress

    The Little Known Reason Why Burnout is Different to Stress

    I think there’s a lot of misunderstanding about what burnout is. I frequently come across people, and, unfortunately, quite a few coaches too, who confuse stress with burnout and try to deal with it in the same way that they deal with stress. And unfortunately that will either make burnout worse, or it will just be pretty ineffective. So it’s helpful to understand what makes burnout different from stress. 

    When we are under strain, when we’re pushing for the extra mile, or even just trying to handle all of the many things that we have to handle during an ordinary day, we are drawing from the reservoir of stress hormones (produced by the adrenal glands that sit on top of the kidneys). The adrenal glands produce the stress hormones that our bodies and minds need to use in order to navigate our day. 

    So if we’re trying to push ourselves for too long or too hard, then we are drawing even more on that reservoir. If we draw faster than the adrenal glands can produce, we start to drain the reservoir. The key difference between stress and burnout is this: with stress, we’ve still got something left in that reservoir, with burnout we don’t. 

    If we’re in a state of stress, we’ve stretched the elastic of our body’s and our mind’s reserves, but we’ve still got something in the tank that we can draw from in order to keep functioning. That elastic can then recuperate very quickly, perhaps needing a few days to a week to fill the reservoir back up again.

    But when we are in the zone of burnout, the reservoir is in an advanced state of depletion. There is no more to draw on. So if we keep pushing on (as is all too common to do), particularly if you’re a high performer who is all about getting stuff done, then all we are doing is pushing ourselves deeper into burnout.

    My definition of burnout is ‘the state when the adrenal reservoir is physically depleted, with insufficient reserves to draw on to see us through a typical day’. This includes the all-important ‘executive functions’ that are essential to navigating a typical day: taking in information, remembering details, processing them, coming to a conclusion about them, making decisions, putting steps into action. All of these need fuel that comes from the adrenal reservoir. So if there’s not enough left, our car stalls to a halt on the motorway.

    I come across a lot of high performers who think it’s just stress or anxiety which will go away if they ignore it. That they are weak if they do not ignore it. Or they might be feeling low or fatigued, but don’t recognise it as burnout because the concept doesn’t fit with their sense of self. High performers in particular try to keep pushing on through, which is actually the opposite of what they need to do.

    If this is you, please hop on a Strategy Call to hear how my Resilient Success coaching programme or Burnout Masterclass self study programme can show you want to do to rapidly make burnout a thing of the past.